Transman dating tips

Linda and I were on our third date. On our second date I had shared with her that I identified as a trans man. At first she had gone completely.
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Again, it depends on his personality, but it's certainly within the realm of possibility and not impossible like you voiced fear of. Thanks for your advice: I'm not scared or anything, I just wanted to make sure I don't offend him if he's not like that.


He seemed ready to open up, you could try asking him all of these questions. Ultimately only he knows how he wants to be treated. My husband is a trans man, and he definitely wants everyone, not just me, to treat him as if he were a cis guy. That being said, he is a fabulous feminist and pretty much snorts in amusement at the idea of traditional gender roles.

On the other hand, he is very Southern American in some ways, and gets inordinately upset if I don't let him open the door for me. So, kind of like everyone else, this guy probably has his idiosyncrasies that you'll learn along the way just like with a cis guy. As far as sex, I am pansexual and have had sex with cis women, cis guys, and my trans guy husband.

My experience is that sex with him is pretty indistinguishable from sex with a cis guy. Except it's a lot better. If you want one concise piece of advice, it's "when in doubt, ask. He most likely wants to be treated just like you'd treat any other guy you've dated.

He transitioned in order to be seen as a man, so just pretend he's a regular guy and you're good. Post-op in this case probably means he had 'top surgery', or a double mastectomy. There might be some scars under his pecs. He probably still has a vagina That's all the advice I can offer.

**** Dating advice, tips, stories, experiences for FTM transmale?

Good on you for being cool with the trans stuff! Depending on what he means by "post-op", it could be that he has no vagina and a dick, so that would be completely unlike sex with a cis woman. It could be that it's very small if meto , or that it's as big as a cis dick but looks somewhat different and has no foreskin if phallo. It might not be exactly like having sex with a cis man I haven't been with any post-op guys so idk , but it's definitelly not going to be like having sex with a woman in that case!

Idk how much you want to look into it, if you'd like I could post some links with post-op results. I wouldn't really suggest googling them because most results you'd find are like right after the operation and that's NOT how it's gonna look after it's completely healed! If by "post-op" he meant that he's had top surgery basically removed his breasts and had his chest reshaped in a more masculine manner , then he'd have a vagina. However, given that he's been on T for so long it's not going to look like the genitals of a cis woman. For example what would have been his clit is going to be quite bigger, get hard and have erections like a dick would, basically will look like a miniature penis including foreskin and glans.

He likely will not want to have his genitals called like female genitals the best way to go about it is to ask what type of terms he's ok with. He might be more comfortable with terms like "front hole" or "front" rather than "vagina", and he'll likely not want you to use "clit" but rather "dick", but really you can't know for sure unless you ask him! Another way in which it'll be different is that he won't want to be touched like a woman would.

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It's likely he's not going to want to be penetrated this can vary tho, for example my partner and I both enjoy penetration , and that he's going to want to be jerked off and sucked off like a guy would rather than being touched and licked like a lesbian would. This is all very interesting to me.

I have been dating my partner for a over a year, and during that year, he came out as FTM trans. I work with a lot of trans people, so when we first started dating, I could tell that he was trans. After a lot of conversations about it over about 10 months, he decided that he was trans. About four months later he started taking T.

I encouraged this, even though I identify as a lesbian, because it's just what is right for him. I never really stopped to consider or process my feelings about it. As his body began to change, my feelings started coming up, and now I'm working through processing them. I love him for who he is, but he doesn't understand why I'm having a difficult time with some aspects of his transition. He said that it's not like I'm going through the transition. Does anyone have any advice? The sex conversation above really interesting.

Embracing the Journey from Female to Male

I agree that what's off limits and what terms to use changes often. I will have an open conversation about it with him, which would help. I tried to communicate to him that I love him for who he is, his personality, his loving demeanor, and his kindness, no matter his gender. I just want to support him in whatever way possible.

He's worried that I just want to be with women, but I can't imagine being with anyone else but him. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Log in or sign up in seconds. Submit a new link. Submit a new text post. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet.

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For the same reasons he would date anyone: We will challenge you to be more communicative. For our own emotional and physical security, we will probably ask a lot of questions. And we will turn you into better listeners too. Never open a conversation by asking:. Can I see it?

Most trans guys have not had any surgery to their lower half, and many of us are satisfied with our original plumbing. Trans guys can be any of these! He may enjoy using a strap-on with partners. Ask him what he enjoys. Your curiosity is normal, but the question itself puts us in an uncomfortable place of having to remember our past and talk about it with a near stranger who hasn't properly taken the time to get to know us in the present.

It's also kind of a boner-killer to have someone gawking at how we don't look like a Heather anymore. Unless you have X-ray vision, the majority of what makes someone attractive to you is not what's between their legs or inside their pants. More likely it's things like the way they move across the room, a grin, how they hold a glass, a look in their eyes, the way they tell a story -- all characteristics that have no gender markers whatsoever.

Talk about those things as turn-ons.

Use gender-neutral adjectives "sexy," "smoldering," "attractive," "compelling," "hot" and maybe throw in "cute," "adorable," or "handsome. The same goes for excessive dude-bro speak. Raymond is an instructor at Early to Bed , a feminist sex toy shop in Chicago.

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  8. Women-owned and oriented, boy- and trans-friendly, the store has a relaxed atmosphere that is different from your average sex shop. Their brother site, Early to Rise , caters to men seeking sex toy advice and honest product reviews. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Don't use the word "tranny. If you mess up pronouns, apologize briefly and move on. Do your own research beforehand.